In honour of July 4th, I spent the morning putting together this list, lest we forget that, following the Declaration of Independence, our French allies pretty much sealed the deal.
So, Vive la France. God bless the USA. The British are coming. Give me liberty or give me death, but please never give me MAGA.
**Disclaimer: literally one person on here is actually French from France (Møme). Stromae is Belgian; Loud, Coeur de pirate, and Zaho are French-Canadian. I suppose I should have said French language, but shit gets wordy. Sooo…vive la France, Belgium, and Canada.
Loud, Toutes les femmes savent danser
This is a multi-faceted summer jam. It applies to countless summer scenarios. Hanging out by the pool? This song applies. RiDiN WiTh tHe ToP dOwN? Applies. Heading on vacation? Applies. Going out dancing? Applies. Fourth of July BBQ? Applies. Beach party? Applies. Drowning in the sea? Applies.
I’m telling you. This is a summertime win-win.
Møme, Aloha (feat. Merryn Jeann)
Let me paint a picture for you (and for the purposes of this picture, your sexual orientation is/includes men).
You’re 23, you’ve just graduated from college, you have rich parents, so for a graduation present, they’ve sent you and two friends traveling around Europe for a month so you can take pics for the gram and start a travel blog (aka live the dream).
Week 2. Southern France. You’re looking sharp/dolled up/fly/fierce/hot/on-fleek – however you look, it’s good. You and your accessories (friends) head over to La Coquille Vide, the most happening open-air rooftop lounge on the Mediterranean coast. It’s chic and shiny and totally white. The tables are decorated with Persian cats. Everyone is sun-kissed and beautiful (including you, so you fit in just fine). All the men have been freshly shipped from the clone factory in the styles of Hugo Philip, Sacha M’Baye, and Richard Deiss. The dancing occurs in slow motion, and everyone’s sweat glistens like 35-carat diamonds.
A Sacha M’Baye standing near the balcony sipping his lychee-hibiscus-watermelon-rose-water mojito spots you, and smiles. His teeth are white and his eyes sparkle like he’s been Photoshopped, but you know he hasn’t, obviously, because this is real life. As he makes his move, you hope he speaks English so you don’t ruin the night with your filthy American-French.
Anyway, this song ^ has been playing on repeat in the background the whole time.
Coeur de pirate, Prémonition
This is the song you listen to when you want to convince yourself that your whirlwind on-again-off-again summer romance is actually based on the most passionate kind of love, and not emotional toxicity and verbal abuse like all your friends say. They’re just jealous that you’re spending you summer having sex and crying like Lana Del Rey.
And remember, the wise Taylor Swift has taught us that love should make you cross the line, waste your time, and lose your mind. If it doesn’t, you ain’t doing it right. So, next time you and your summer love-match end up drunkenly screaming at each other in a parking lot over a text from your sister, you’re on the right track. If it’s a waste of time, you must be doing it right. #summertimesadness
Stromae, Tous Les Mêmes
This is one that’ll put the Not-All-Men brigade up in arms.
Basically, it’s the song you listen to AFTER you realize summertime sadness is not actually that great, and you’re ready for some summertime gladness.
So, screw that toxic relationship. YOU’RE ALL THE SAME. Where my bitches at?
Zaho, Laissez-les kouma (feat. MHD)
If your guilty pleasure is a classic JLo-Pitbull collaboration, this one’s for you.
Stromae, Je Cours
Because I love you guys, and I love Stromae.