5 French Songs For Your Summer Playlist

5 French Songs For Your Summer Playlist

In honour of July 4th, I spent the morning putting together this list, lest we forget that, following the Declaration of Independence, our French allies pretty much sealed the deal.

So, Vive la France. God bless the USA. The British are coming. Give me liberty or give me death, but please never give me MAGA.

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**Disclaimer: literally one person on here is actually French from France (Møme). Stromae is Belgian; Loud, Coeur de pirate, and Zaho are French-Canadian. I suppose I should have said French language, but shit gets wordy. Sooo…vive la France, Belgium, and Canada.

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Loud, Toutes les femmes savent danser

This is a multi-faceted summer jam. It applies to countless summer scenarios. Hanging out by the pool? This song applies. RiDiN WiTh tHe ToP dOwN? Applies. Heading on vacation? Applies. Going out dancing? Applies. Fourth of July BBQ? Applies. Beach party? Applies. Drowning in the sea? Applies.

I’m telling you. This is a summertime win-win.

Møme, Aloha (feat. Merryn Jeann)

Let me paint a picture for you (and for the purposes of this picture, your sexual orientation is/includes men).

You’re 23, you’ve just graduated from college, you have rich parents, so for a graduation present, they’ve sent you and two friends traveling around Europe for a month so you can take pics for the gram and start a travel blog (aka live the dream).

Week 2. Southern France. You’re looking sharp/dolled up/fly/fierce/hot/on-fleek – however you look, it’s good. You and your accessories (friends) head over to La Coquille Vide, the most happening open-air rooftop lounge on the Mediterranean coast. It’s chic and shiny and totally white. The tables are decorated with Persian cats. Everyone is sun-kissed and beautiful (including you, so you fit in just fine). All the men have been freshly shipped from the clone factory in the styles of Hugo Philip, Sacha M’Baye, and Richard Deiss. The dancing occurs in slow motion, and everyone’s sweat glistens like 35-carat diamonds.

A Sacha M’Baye standing near the balcony sipping his lychee-hibiscus-watermelon-rose-water mojito spots you, and smiles. His teeth are white and his eyes sparkle like he’s been Photoshopped, but you know he hasn’t, obviously, because this is real life. As he makes his move, you hope he speaks English so you don’t ruin the night with your filthy American-French.

Anyway, this song ^ has been playing on repeat in the background the whole time.

Coeur de pirate, Prémonition

This is the song you listen to when you want to convince yourself that your whirlwind on-again-off-again summer romance is actually based on the most passionate kind of love, and not emotional toxicity and verbal abuse like all your friends say. They’re just jealous that you’re spending you summer having sex and crying like Lana Del Rey.

And remember, the wise Taylor Swift has taught us that love should make you cross the line, waste your time, and lose your mind. If it doesn’t, you ain’t doing it right. So, next time you and your summer love-match end up drunkenly screaming at each other in a parking lot over a text from your sister, you’re on the right track. If it’s a waste of time, you must be doing it right. #summertimesadness

Stromae, Tous Les Mêmes

This is one that’ll put the Not-All-Men brigade up in arms.

Basically, it’s the song you listen to AFTER you realize summertime sadness is not actually that great, and you’re ready for some summertime gladness.

So, screw that toxic relationship. YOU’RE ALL THE SAME. Where my bitches at?

Zaho, Laissez-les kouma (feat. MHD)

If your guilty pleasure is a classic JLo-Pitbull collaboration, this one’s for you.

BONUS JAM

Stromae, Je Cours

Because I love you guys, and I love Stromae.

10 Songs To Spark Your Inner Boss Bitch

10 Songs To Spark Your Inner Boss Bitch

Ain’t worried ’bout no shit that don’t pay my bills.

Raja Kumari, Mute

Did you start your day by hitting the snooze button one time for every year you’ve been alive? When it was time to get up, did you petulantly slide down the side of your bed like Alex Mack morphing into goo? Did coffee make you feel more awake but also more aware that this day is shit and can get in the sea? If this sounds like you, look no further.

The following is the fuel you need to spark your inner boss bitch. Because you own today. You own rush hour. You own parallel parking on a street 5 miles from your job. You own having to hustle to avoid being late. You own being late. You own your desk. You own the water cooler. You own Snide Theresa in human resources. And if you have a shit boss, you own them too.

Here are 10 jams by badass women to give you the boss mentality you need to own the day.

Shook, Raja Kumari

Vibe: Bitch resilient.

Highlights: Crushed flax seed in the green tea / Life infinity

Takeaway: Shook when you see a deity.

Bossy, Kelis

Vibe: I’m the bitch y’all love to hate.

Highlights: Tell that man you’sa boss bitch / Make some noise, raise your hand if you’sa boss bitch / I don’t think he understands you’sa boss bitch

Takeaway: You don’t have to love me. You don’t even have to like me. But you WILL respect me.

Tomboy, Princess Nokia

Vibe: My little titties be booking cities all around the world.

Highlights: Missy Elliot can’t stand the rain.

Takeaway: My little titties and my phat belly.

Chewing Gum, Nina Nesbitt

Vibe: I could be your worst mistake.

Highlights: I’m a made-up mess / in a backless dress

Takeaway: I’m just chewing gum until the flavors gone.

Werkin Girls, Angel Haze

Vibe: All about me, bitch, fuck what you doing.

Highlights: I have been the realest since my exit near the clit.

Takeaway: I’m an undefeated bastard.

There You Go, Pink

Vibe: There you go, looking pitiful.

Highlights: I got a new man, he’s waiting out back / now what, what ya think about that?

Takeaway: Sometimes it be’s like that.

Black Panther, Lady Leshurr

Vibe: I wish a gyal would.

Highlights: Dig you out the grave I put you in and rebury ya / That’s the only time you’ll be all over social media

Takeaway: Tell a gutter gyal leave the area.

Thunder Thighs, Miss Eaves

Vibe: I’m looking good.

Highlights: Mom jeans all day why you mad tho?

Takeaway: Thighs thick, thighs juicy.

Django Jane, Janelle Monae

Vibe: This is my palace.

Highlights: Celebrated, graduated, made it pass/fail / Sassy, classy, Kool-Aid with the kale

Takeaway: We fem the future.

Did It On’em, Nicki Minaj

Vibe: Move back bugs.

Highlights: All these bitches is my sons / and I’ma go and get some bibs for ’em.

Takeaway: More talent in my mother fuckin’ left thumb.

BONUS TRACK

Flawless (ft. Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie), Beyonce

Vibe: Bow down, bitches. H Town bitches.

Highlights: Feminist: the person who believes in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes.

Takeaway: I woke up like this.

Image by Natalie Cawthorne on Madgirlcity.com